From the VCC Newsletter on 10/29: Train up A Child

I have mentioned many times that American Christians are not very fond of wisdom literature because it does not give us prescriptions for life's struggles. Nevertheless, we quote it out of context, as it suits us. One of the texts often quoted out of context, and  the cause of great frustration, is Proverbs 22.6, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

In context the verse is more about equipping a child toward his or her natural inclinations rather than about setting a direction for them. It has little to do with children following the ways of the Lord. The primary idea is if we recognize the natural gifting, likes, or inclinations of a child and reinforce those things (through training, support, and encouragement) then the child will continue in that direction.  For example, if a child is naturally gifted in music and they like it, then equipping them will be fruitful.  On the other hand when we try and force kids into a predetermined mold (i.e., Dad is a plumber so his son is going to be a plumber) then children tend to get defiant. It does not mean we shouldn’t push our kids to try things or encourage them to pursue something not natural to them, but it is simply a recognition that when these things come together it makes for a lifelong blessing.  

What I would say to young parents is do not push things just because your kid shows interest in something. For instance, my Dad thought I should be a lawyer because I had such a big heart for justice issues (defending the defenseless), and I was pretty argumentative when I thought something was unjust. However, I also loved to study ancient history and languages, and I was naturally inclined to spend time with and help people. I never imagined ministry would fit me so well. I know now it was my calling, and I have enjoyed it for the last 30 years. Parents, don’t feel like you have to nurture every inclination. Don’t push when they show interest. Instead encourage them when you see interest, and never shy away from helping them to explore. In the end, don’t push an agenda, even if they like it or are gifted; you may chase them away from the very calling God has put on their lives.