Finishing Well

As a young man, when I first started walking with Christ I went to Bible College to “catch up.” I was frustrated by what I perceived as an advantage some people had who grew up in the church. I loved studying the Bible, but I knew only a few of the stories, and I knew nothing about church life. I did not understand things like what youth ministry was about, or how people dated without having sex, and numerous other things that were not written down, but everyone else in church seemed to know.

In Bible College, and later at university and graduate school, one of the things that I noticed was that my Bible and ministry professors spent all their energy on the people who seemed to have it together already. I did not know the social code of church assumptions and I said, and did, things that clearly told my professors I was not one of “them.” So I was not one of the favored few. During those years in school, I began to notice another sad trend. Many of the students these professors doted over started out well, but were crashing quickly. Those students knew the right things to say, and they were very charismatic, but they did not have any character, only head-knowledge and social acumen. Those students made great grades, but no one ever questioned what was going on between them and their boyfriends or girlfriends. No one questioned the health of their marriage or their anger issues. I soon realized that they began well, because of their social advantages, but starting well did not guarantee success. My professors were just men, and they were responding to the potential they saw in those students.

Even before graduation one of the brightest stars at the University fell very publically. Then a few years ago my Bible College graduation class celebrated twenty years and had a reunion. I did not go because I had left that denomination and joined the Vineyard Church, but I did hear from former classmates that only three of the forty were still in ministry, and that was including me, and we three were not the superstars of the class. The truth is that most of the people I went to school with are no longer in the ministry. The ones that are still in ministry are mostly the regular people who never got the spot light in school. Among this group several of us have doctorate degrees, some have planted churches, been missionaries, etcetera. We did not start with accolades.

Why do I bring this up?

Over the last few years I have seen numerous other people in professional ministry fall. I have worried over my own walk, and have struggled like anyone else. I have worked other jobs, outside of ministry, for short stints of time, but always returned to ministry. I have my share of struggles with sin and pride. Along the way I have watched the marriages of many in my social circles collapse. I have seen people who walked powerfully with God one day disappear, running after another lover, abandoning spouse and family. I have watched ministry after ministry crumble because people touched the glory, the gold, or the girls/guys. With each one of those falls I have gone back to examine my own life, my goals, my walk with Jesus, and my marriage. Each time I found fault in my life, my need to repent, for renewal, and for recommitment. I realized I was not immune. Then about five years ago it hit me . . . Few finish well.

I now understand that what I was lamenting in those early years was that I did not know how to begin, but I have also learned that beginning well, because of background, does not guarantee a great finish. Even now, I find myself more aware of my faults, my weaknesses, and my sinfulness, despite years of ministry and walking with the Lord. I am convinced more than ever that finishing well is more important than starting well. At midcareer I have a long way yet to go. As I study the lives of King David, and of Moses, I recognize that at the very end of their lives, they faltered. Moses did not see the promise land. David was hunted by his own son, had horrible family relationships, and slept with a young concubine to “keep warm.” In contrast the Apostle Peter faltered early. He was not the brightest star, he denied Jesus, and he was even challenged by the Apostle Paul for conspiring with Judaizers, and called him an apostate. Yet Peter each time got up, repented, and moved forward. Peter finished well! We can also note that the Apostle Paul began as Saul of Tarsus who persecuted the church. While he did not finish well in the eyes of his professor (Gamaliel) he finished well in the eyes of God and the church.

I want to finish well. I want my grandchildren to know God because of me, not in spite of me. I want to celebrate old age with my wife, mother of my children, and tell them how to love for a lifetime. I want to leave the pulpit because I am old, not because I could not keep my zipper up, my hands off, or because I took credit for what God did. I still have a long way to go, and that is why I need people in my life who love me, speak truth to me, and people who do not stop asking questions just because they believe the best about me. I need the business manager to question my expenses, to review my compensation, and to ask questions. I need to tell you that God did it, even if he did use me. I may say thank you, but I still need to tell you that God is good. For one reason, I want to finish well so that God can say, “Well done good and faithful servant.” It is not how you start that matters as much, it’s how you finish that matters most.