A GRATEFUL HEART

It's been awhile since I wrote my last post. That post on was on July 2; a few days later, on July 9, my world was rocked hard by the death of my son, Joel. As I have emerged from the shadows of the valley of death, I have seen God walk me through my fears, through the evil surrounding me, and prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies (Psalm 23).  Here now, as we come upon the feast of Thanksgiving, I am reminded of how much I have to be grateful for, in spite of this year’s losses.

In the past year I have lost my father-in-law, who I loved very much. Then I lost two dear friends in January, one to cancer and the other to suicide. Then just as the year seemed to take an upswing--crash--my son committed suicide. We were very close.  Our family was tightly knit, so then how did I not see it coming? Why didn't he talk to us? I will never be able to answer those questions . . . and so goes more loss.

Yet, this I know, I still have an amazing family. I love my children! I love my mom, step-dad, mother-in-law, brothers-in-law, etc. They are the best of family. Just weeks before Joel died my oldest daughter got married to a great guy. I really love him. He takes good care of her, and he loves our family. His family is also a great blessing, and they have been very supportive. Also we have another grandchild on the way.  But above all else, I have a loving wife who I get to share this life with.

I also have many, many friends who have stood by me in the most devastating moment of my life. They did not run away, but instead, ran to my side. Some of them came from great distances to uplift  and care for us. Some of them live here in town, and they are still helping me day-by-day. They listen. They don't try to solve my hurt (they cannot); they don't try to say something meaningful (neither should you); they just sit and listen, and then they pray for me. They invite us to dinner. They do little things to remind us  we are loved.

I have enjoyed some very special times with my friends and family. I have enjoyed the pleasant weather of Florida. I have been to the mountains of North Carolina  and twice driven from coast to coast this year. I have been to my hometown, El Paso, Texas, to eat tacos and hug friends. I have been on a sailboat in the Pacific Ocean and fished quiet lakes in Florida.  I turned 50 this year, and I am in good health, enough to run a few 5k races. I have a beautiful home; I enjoy exotic foods, and I can even afford to buy some. I have transportation, AC, and I can go on, and on, and on.

This Sunday I am beginning a series of messages on  A Grateful Heart. Just writing about this makes my heart lighter. I’m excited.  Just sharing these thoughts breaks through the cloud of darkness and ushers in the light of hope. I am grateful!

The best part of it all? God has never let me down. Some are surprised that I can say that. They are thinking about my son's suicide. Joel was an amazing young man. I loved his sense of humor; I miss his hugs. I enjoyed some very special times with him. I also lived through a few of his bad decisions, and he lived through some of mine. When I made them, and he suffered, I asked him for forgiveness.  He gave it to me. Likewise, I had to forgive my son many times over. I always taught my kids  they have to own their “stuff,” their decisions and actions It's not someone else's fault when they do wrong, and, it is not God's fault.  It certainly wasn’t God’s fault that Joel made a bad decision that cost him his life. I cannot be disappointed with God over Joel's decision. So I say again, God has never let me down, not even in my second darkest hour. (My darkest hour was when I was lost in sin and without hope.)

Every day, I am so grateful God sent his son, Jesus Christ, to rescue me in my darkest hour, and that he comforts me in every dark hour since.

Happy Thanksgiving!

VALUING THE GENERATIONS

We talk a lot of about loving our neighbors and about how to treat the lost. Recently I have talked a great deal about objectifying people by placing them in categories by their religion, political party, sexual orientation, etc., and then reducing them to a set of bullet points we can attack. When we are filled with compassion it means we, at the gut level, feel their personal hurts and pains and empathize with the reasons why they think or feel like they do. Instead of judging them we can love them into a relationship with Christ. Without love we can never lead them to Christ from an objective position.

With that in mind, I want to talk to you about intergenerational relationships…

There is a lot of marketing being done by targeting age groups. It began with the Baby Boomers (those born between 1945-1965) and the  GenX/Baby Busters (1966-1986). Finally they identified Generation Y/Millennials (1987-2007), and on it goes. As each group is identified and marketed towards, the characteristics of each generation are used to make sweeping conclusions about each generation that are often unfair.

For instance, critics of Baby Boomers say they are greedy, self-centered, and materialistic. Critics of GenX say they  are deconstructionist, nihilist, and don’t play by the rules. Then critics of the Millennials think they need trophies for everything and melt at the slightest hardship. However, I can say I know lots of generous, selfless Boomers. I know GenX who are “by the book” and find meaning in everything. I know Millennials who live sacrificial lives on the mission field completely free of accolades. Assumptions about people based on age are not entirely unfounded, but when we use that information to dismiss,  belittle, or judge whole groups of people then we have violated the Spirit of Christ.  

These intergenerational struggles have been around since the beginning when Adam and Eve disobeyed God, when Cain killed Abel and their parents gave birth to Seth. It's normal, but normal is messed-up and sinful. Being normal does not make something ok. In 1 Timothy 5 we read: “Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.” The church is called to view each generation as a gift to the body. Every generation has strengths (and, yes, weaknesses), and we need to glean from every generation what they know, what they do best, and value them for it.

Listen, the next generation does not lack information because they have the Internet, but what they need is sage wisdom in what to do with that information. The older generation may not know as much about the Internet, but they know how to do things you are trying to learn from a YOUTUBE video. They have life skills that once were common and now are virtually unknown. More than that, discussion about what is happening in the world right now, seeing it through the eyes of more than one generation, gives us perspective. I love when I get to talk with and listen to people from different perspectives because they help me develop a bigger picture.

In the church, we need the youth to engage and be the church today, not the church of the future. That will be too late. We must reach the young without dismissing everyone else.  

We need the life skills and resources of other generations. We need parents and grandparents; we need to remember every “new thing” is not really that new. In fact, it has often been done before, and we can learn from the past as well as the present. We need the patience of those who know “it” will still be here tomorrow, and we need the exuberance of youth who push us ahead because it seems like we will never get there otherwise.

Intergenerational ministry is as important as intercultural and interracial ministries. We are called to reach every ethnicity, every culture, and every age group with the gospel of Jesus Christ. It’s never ok to make it all about this group or that group or to value one group over the other. No matter how you justify that position, in the end, it violates the spirit of the gospel and the Kingdom.

THE FATHER HEART OF GOD AND FATHER'S DAY

Mother’s Day is always a big hit. We spend billions of dollars on flowers, candy, and cards to tell Moms how wonderful and important they are. Father’s Day on the other hand gets little notice and tends to belittle men rather than value them. So many men view Father’s Day at church with suspicion, believing that they will be lectured in contrast to Mom’s praises. So that is why I always try to make Father’s day upbeat and positive. Yesterday, we gave out Beef Jerky to all the men, and we told the men of our church that they are awesome. Let me tell you why the church today needs to know the Father Heart of God.

One of the most important images in the Bible is the Father image. You cannot read the Bible and not see the importance of the Father Heart of God to understanding the story of the Bible. When I became a Christian I became acutely aware of the imagery of God in the Bible as Father, and of his unconditional love. I read clearly in the Bible that while we were yet enemies, Christ died for us. I also read that God so loved the World that he sent his Son. Together those two passages told me that God loved me, and there was nothing he would not do for me, so while there was a lot about the Bible and Christianity I did not understand I was at least certain of that. One of the things that made this easiest to grasp was my own earthly dad. While my Dad was not a perfect man, I knew for certain he loved me, and he would do anything for me, this helped me to grasp the idea that regardless of my behavior God that loved me. So I easily attached myself to the Father Heart of God. I know that many people did not have a loving dad when they were growing up, but I know that as human beings, deep-down inside, we know it is supposed to be that way, that they should have had unconditional love from their dad’s.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying my dad was a pushover. I not saying my dad never expressed disappointment in me, or frustration over my behavior. My dad and I had some pretty serious fights, especially in my teen years. What my dad did so well was to convey unconditional love for me. He constantly told me he loved me, he never avoided showing me manly affection of hugs, kissing my head, and swatting me on the butt as I ran onto the football field or into the ring. My dad called me pet names, like Tiger and Champ. He also told me what I was good at, and praised me for the things I did well. My Dad showed me his heart for me. He also busted my chops, and my butt, depending on which he thought I needed. I learned about leadership from him. I learned about not running away from my problems (or he would give my ball back to the kids I ran away from). My dad also taught me to face my fears, and he taught me to shake off my failures and get back in the game. He put me behind the wheel within minutes of my first accident and made me drive home so I would not let my fears overcome me. By his love for me my dad taught me more about God than anyone else in the whole world.

Listen, the stats are overwhelmingly in favor of growing up with a dad, even a not so great dad. Children raised with a father in the house are far less likely to be abused or live in poverty. Moreover, dad is the number one determiner of faith. The likelihood of a child being an authentic disciple of Christ is directly proportionate to dad’s faithfulness. Dad matters!

If you did not have that in your life I am so sorry. I know our Father in Heaven can make it right, and heal the broken place in your heart to reveal God’s great love for you. But if you did grow-up in a home with a loving Dad, make sure and tell him how much his love means to you!

BEAUTIFUL THINGS

Since my youth I have always heard that you should give your best to God. In my early church years it was an argument for dressing up in a suite & tie but then I always wondered why those same persons had formal attire they only wore to weddings and balls.  I guess giving their best to God had limits . . . ?

Nonetheless, there is some actual truth behind giving God our best that exceeds church cultural hang-up. It is that we should not give God our leftovers, or our half-hearted efforts, or sloppy craftsmanship, but to give and do our best to the glory of God. In the medieval period 90% of art, music, and theater in Western society was considered to have a Christian worldview. Now less than 10% of the arts are Christian in worldview and often times those are substandard in quality. Many Christian recording artist settled on a Christian music label because of a lack of quality rather than a conviction to make Christian music. Today most Christian art falls into the "Jesus Junk" category of bumper sticker religion.

When you study the Old Testament the commitment to craftsmanship in the building of the temple was impeccable. Likewise if you look at some of the grand old cathedrals of times long past, the artwork is incredible. While I am not an advocate of ornate church buildings, preferring the more minimalist architecture of modern church buildings, I still believe in giving our best to God. The words I am looking for are quality and excellence but often times we do not associate that also with beauty. Somehow beauty is all too often thought of as frivolous or as shallow. In contrast we have the creative God who made the mountains, the sea, the valley, and everything in them, along with everything in the heavens all the way to the stars; these things are beautiful.

I imagine that in the midst of all of our failures that God's view of these things that bring us such joy when we gaze upon them must also touch the heart of God who made them, and bring continual pleasure to him. In reflection of this we added to our values statement something I once read 17 years ago: God is beautiful and his creation reflects his beauty: God created man and woman in his image and likeness who also create works of beauty. For this reason we value the arts, expression, and creativity. Often times we neglect the value of beauty or make light of it as an extra expense or as unnecessary but as we seek to imitate God we remember that he is the author of all things beautiful, so part of imitating him comes in this expression also.

In very practical terms it means that I do all that I do with this value when I paint a wall, or I create a business report, or make a presentation for school, or suture a wound, or cut the grass, or make a website, or any other job I do, that I bring glory to God by doing beautiful work or creating a sculpture, or writing beautiful songs. These all glorify God and go against the tide of "good enough" or worse yet, cutting corners because it's cheap or more convenient.

The Bible says, Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.

When I read that passage I feel compelled to give God my very best, and when I say that, I don't mean that it must be expensive, or ornate, or that I should compare my work with others. I simply mean that I would not slop my way through it or only give God my leftovers. And furthermore, that when others go the extra mile to make something truly beautiful we would not disregard it as frivolous or shallow, but see their  craftsmanship and give glory to God because of it.

God makes beautiful things and you are one of them. So when you give God your best you make beautiful things because you are created in his image.

JUST LIKE JESUS

I have been thinking a lot about what it means to be like Jesus. All too often I think we limit "being like Jesus" to acts of kindness, to praying for people, and doing "church stuff." We might even think of it as being good. This year during lent I was re-reading Dallas Willard's amazing book, The Divine Conspiracy, when something stuck in my head. I grabbed my Bible and opened it up to Hebrews 5.8: Although he was a son, he learned obedience through what he suffered. Suddenly it hit me hard that being like Jesus meant learning obedience. It wasn’t like I had never thought of that before, or that I had never read that text before, but in that moment it hit me that learning to be Christlike meant learning to be obedient.  

For you this may seem overly simple, or maybe in your thinking this should be obvious, but the idea that obedience is more than a great suggestion in how to become Christlike, that it is more than just good for spiritual formation but rather it is essential to being Christlike grabbed my heart. It means that becoming Christlike is more than being helpful, kind, and thoughtful. It means that being Christlike includes a costly decision to obey. When Jesus was in the garden he did not want to suffer the agony of the cross but rather he was pursuing the joy that would result from his obedience (Hebrews 12.2). The Bible never says Jesus wanted to hurt, that he wanted to leave his beloved disciples, or feel the weight of the world’s sin. But he did! Jesus obeyed, even to the point of death on the cross (Philippians 2.8).     Then it occurred to me that the model of Jesus obedience was even when you don't feel like it, and even when the price is high, even to the point of death. It is better to obey, than to offer another sacrifice. It is better to obey than go to church, it is better to obey than offer a song of love or to confess my faithfulness, because obedience is the ultimate expression of love for Jesus and the Father.

Read Jesus' words in John 14.23-24: Jesus answered him, “If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. Whoever does not love me does not keep my words. And the word that you hear is not mine but the Father's who sent me. When everyone is preaching about how God is love, and pontificating about what love is or isn't. When the world shouts down the church for obedience to God, it is not our obedience that is out of step but rather the common misuse of the word love. Love does not do whatever it wants, demanding its own way, it is not self-seeking, it is not rude when it defends the truth or when it finds people falling short of God's standard but neither is it disobedient. No matter what the price, Jesus loved the Father enough to obey. So if we are choosing to be students of Jesus, followers of the Way, then we are also choosing obedience; not just convenient obedience but the costly kind.

HAVE I BEEN BAPTIZING PEOPLE THE WRONG WAY?

I am sure that most people will be thinking about modes of baptism when they read the title to this article, but I am not speaking about modes of baptism at all, nor the connection between forgiveness of sin and baptism. I am thinking about discipleship and parenting. I am thinking about the role of spiritual parents and physical ones. As I have been processing the things we do in church and the role of discipleship I have seen a gap between form and function. Often times what we do, and the things we teach don't line up; Not in a hypocritical way. I mean we accidentally un-teach everything we just taught. I think one of the ways we do that is through church culture.

In the American church (and probably most western churches) we have those who have been ordained to do most of our baptisms. I have regularly told people that it is not required but I have not resisted the preference for ordained clergy either. Then it occurred to me one day, am I inadvertently teaching people to rely too much on me? Am I inadvertently teaching people to trust in the ability of the ordained more than learning to obey God for themselves?

I am not saying that pastors should stop baptizing people, but if I want parents to be responsible for their children's spiritual formation rather than depending on youth group to save their children, shouldn't I ask them to baptize their children, by getting in the baptismal tub with me, and doing the actual dunking? When someone in our church leads their friend to Christ wouldn't it be sweeter to have them in the baptismal too, physically participating?

Nothing in the Bible requires the person doing the baptism to be ordained clergy, so rather than just saying everyone gets to play, why don't we let everyone play? I want more people making more disciples.

Would you like to baptize your child? Would you like to baptize the friend you led to Christ? Are you nervous? Can I help? I can say the words for you if that will help, but will you do the baptizing?

I think I am going to start asking some new questions.  

PRAY WITHOUT CEASING

A few weeks ago (in March) I had a dream about the urgency of prayer in our church, followed by several confirming words, dreams and visions from others in the body. It was a real wake-up call to make sure that prayer had its proper place in the church, drawing us not to religious practice, but deeply into intimacy with Jesus.

The problem was busyness! We all get busy, we all have too much to do, but the truth is that we don't stop and pray because we have time, we pray because we need the power of the Hoy Sprit for living. We pray because we need direction from our heavenly Father. We pray because we need the mercy of Jesus. We do not pray because we must (as in law) we pray because we must (as in our deepest need to be whole).

Here we are now, about one month out form that first urgent call to pray. Since that time I have certainly changed my prayer routine, made more room in my schedule throughout lent and I have committed to keep that space for the Lord. I have heard from several people that they needed that call to action as well, and who have reoriented their lives to be more intentional in relationship with God. We have also seen a renewed interest in our prayer meeting, which we moved to Tuesdays at noon.

At the same time, I also see that the dire warning has passed and there is a tendency to let the urgent fade into the background of normalcy. It is easy to let complacency creep back in and for us to begin doing everything in our own strength. It is all too easy to let our stomach decide that we need to eat now before we pray. To let urgency demand we skip prayer meeting to spend time catching up on work. To let TV take the place of intimacy not only with God but also with those whom we live.

Most of us have expressed some level of concern for our nation in recent months both during the election and afterwards. Some have taken to political posting, arguing, and letting fear control their view of life. Others have buried their heads in the sand or on pinterest posts to avoid the ugliness of political debate. Yet the truth is that what we are talking about when we speak of the civility of a society, its manners, it social decorum, its moral underpinnings, and the issues of justice in a society is that the real need is for revival. For people to be transformed. We cannot transform a society except one heart at a time being transformed by the love of God in Christ through the power of the Holy Spirit. The need in our land is less about making America great again, and making America good again, as in good like God is good, as in intentionally becoming more and more like Jesus Christ.

So one month later my real reason for writing is wondering, what will it take to bring us to our knees in prayer? What will convince us that our deepest need is for God? Politics do not change the world, they only reflect the condition of the hearts of those who vote and those who lead. Laws do not change people, God proved that on day one when Adam and Eve chose rebellion over relationship with God and broke his laws bring about sin and death. The Law of the Old Testament did not save us, that was Jesus who died on the cross because we were guilty of violating the Law. More laws will not make our society better or more free, or more moral. Putting the ten commandments on court house lawns will not change our society unless we first write them on our hearts.

Our deepest need is not for social transformation but personal transformation. Pray without ceasing is not a rule, but a way of life that takes me into the presence of God to know his heart, to know his will, and to empower me to do his good, pleasing, and perfect will.

RESURRECTION SUNDAY

As we head into Easter I regularly deal with people worried about Easter Bunnies, about colored eggs and even the word Easter. The word actually appears in the King James version of the Bible and literally means beginning, as in the beginning of the Christian Calendar. The Resurrection is the beginning for the Christian Church. While Good Friday does lay the ground work for the resurrection, it is the resurrection where death is defeated and new life begins. It is the resurrection that gave the church hope. On Good Friday hope seemed dashed, but Sunday came and revealed through the resurrection of Jesus from the dead that the cross was not defeat but triumph. So Easter was canonized in the early church as the beginning of the Christian calendar.

This year as I prepared for Easter during the season of Lent (the 40 days of preparation) I decided to cut off social media and other media to clear my head, and to clear my schedule. It was one of the best lenten decisions I could have made. Lent isn't about giving up something, but about preparing, and sometimes that leads me to give up something to make room for that which is truly valuable. So we fast, not to deny ourselves but to make room. Sometimes people fast meals so they can spend that time in prayer instead of eating. Sometimes we fast from other activities. I my case, I fasted from media and spent those hours normally eaten up by Facebook, television, and radio to renew my relationship with God and my family. Now as I head into Easter I am experiencing new resurrection power in my personal life.

Have you experienced resurrection power? The power of the Holy Spirit to bring back to life things in your life that seem to be lost, dead, or dying? As we head into Easter to celebrate the resurrection let me invite you to tap into the resurrection power that raised Jesus from the dead, and will can raise you to new life as well, regardless of how dead things may seem. There is hope in the power of the Resurrection.